I am not using my time wisely, I fear. I'm not focused as if there is one thing much more important than anything else. I pray for a focused mind and a still heart, focused on You and humble before Your Spirit.
Let me rejoice in You always. Let me pray without ceasing. Let me put on Christ, the whole armor of God. Let me always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that is in me. Let me love you and others as you have loved me.
Who is stopping me? Who is sabotaging my efforts? Who is in my way? I am!
How do I get out of my own way? I stop conforming to the patterns of this world and be transformed by the renewal of my mind, be sanctified by the truth, which is Your word, and be filled with Your Spirit.
How do I do those things? Humbly show up! Intentionally place myself at Your feet and choose the one thing that is truly necessary: listen to Your teaching. Help me do that, Father, please.
April 25, 2015
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The letter above is one of hundreds in my journals written to my Father in heaven, the Father of Jesus Christ. The one here is the first I've publicly posted.
My hand-written letters are short because I have what I thought was essential tremor but is actually focal hand dystonia and it takes a long time to write clearly and neatly. Yet, I hand write them because I deliberately want to take my time and go slowly.
I decided to share these private prayer letters with you, one at a time. My hope is that by being transparent in my own spiritual journey, you will be encouraged in yours. I want you to see my joys as well as my struggles. I want you to know that there are some real people, vulnerable and genuine, who try diligently to seek God and "come to the full knowledge of the truth (1 Tim 2:4).
I think this particular letter is relatively recent, but I forgot to include the date. I'll try to include the date going forward and I may come back and edit this post if I find the original entry. These letters may have been edited a bit to correct some grammar and/or clarify the intent.
Lastly, my content is often making implicit reference to Scripture. For example, "stop conforming and be transformed" is from Romans 12:2, being "sanctified by the truth" is from John 17:17, and "choose the one thing that is truly necessary" is from the story of Mary "who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to His teaching" and Martha who "was distracted with much serving" (Luke 10:38-42). All Bible verses are from the English Standard Version (ESV) unless otherwise stated.
I welcome you to enjoy a piece of my heart. Please leave a comment if it touches yours.