Sunday, October 3, 2010

Then & Now and Now & Then

Two years ago, I said I would follow my heart's passion and write more. (Write to Heal) I've written a few entries since then, but this hardly constitutes evidence of my heart overflowing with creativity.

I need to 'fess up. Most of my entries were lessons given, not lessons learned. In 'Write to Heal' I made myself vulnerable and it was appreciated. I was encouraged by the feedback. And I learned a lot.

I recently told my wife I wanted to write again. I needed that creative outlet. She said, and I paraphrase, "Well, you usually write about ideas and stuff. Why not write about you?" She told me the story of another relative who writes and concluded, "Know what I love about his writing? It's real. It's inspiring, but it's really him and things he goes through, good and bad."

I thought, "I could do that." (Actually, I already knew I could do this because I've done it!) I not only felt I was wasting my talent (if I may be so bold to admit to having any), but I was hiding behind it, too. Most of my blog entries here barely scratch the surface. Vulnerability? Nah! It's merely a flesh wound! ("What are you going to do? Bleed all over me?")

Be prepared to squirm. Be prepared to cry and sometimes sob. Be prepared for a genuine belly-laugh. Be prepared for bitter-sweet laughter. Be prepa... - I'm talking to myself, by the way - for open honesty. Be prepared to be scared. Be prepared to love and be loved. Be prepared to be hurt and feel lonely. Be prepared to know real joy and peace.

I want to - scratch that. I will write about my current faith and my childhood experiences; my struggles and fears; my many losses and stupid mistakes; my roles as family, friend, father, and husband; my pursuit of work and desire for play. In the end, I still have hope. In fact, I have more hope than when I started. But not in me, however, in Him. I'll tell you something about that soon, maybe next in my next blog entry. Until then, it's now and then.

Disclaimer - My intention is to inspire others to be genuine, vulnerable, and follow their hearts. In the process of being real, I may offend some. For this, I apologize in advance. Please forgive me.

1 comment:

Milli Thornton said...

Dwight, this was very moving and inspirational. Thank you for posting this. I'm very glad you're coming back to your writing.