When I read what I wrote, I'm amazed at how enthusiastic I was about writing. Yet, I notice huge gaps of time between my posts on this blog. Huge gaps! My introduction to 'Write to Heal', for example, made it sound like I was going to write every few minutes. But, I did not, as evidenced herein. Why? Four reasons stand out: 1) I don't know what to write (drawing a blank or too many choices), 2) I write elsewhere, 3) I'm not making the time, and 4) I'm embarrassed that my journey through life and Christianity isn't perfected and I will be judged by those who know me.
I believe that what I have to say will resonate with a few who will appreciate what I have written. And those few are not likely to be the ones closest to me. It is those few who are closest to me that scare me the most, because I've let them.
The good news is that I've gone through a series of disappointments, things that I had hoped were not true and hung on to for years. 'Clinging' is actually a more fitting word. How is this good news? I've come to accept the circumstances that were out of my control instead of trying to force my preferred result. What the heck am I talking about? Well, as I do not wish to name others, suffice it to say that I thought I needed to be treated a certain way in order to feel loved. Again, why is this good news? Because it has made me realize, more than anything, that real love comes from God.
Familiar with Psalm 23? If not entirely, I've pasted it below. I'd like to focus on just a tiny phrase of just one verse for now: my cup overflows. Here's the ironic thing I learned about love; I feel loved when I love others from a pure heart, and I am able to love others from a pure heart because God first loved me. Therefore, I've learned, rather, am learning, imperfectly, to seek God first. Know Him. Pray to Him. Treasure His precious words of revelation to me in scripture. Let His words be my 'Revelations For Life'. Amen!
A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.